Four in Six

4 in 6 women think they look like beached whales when wearing anything by Abercrombie and Fitch. 4 in 6 men think passing gas is something to smile about. And my oldest son brushed death 4 times in 6 years and I am about to tell you all about it.

Time Number One: Husband driving from Seattle to Utah after being awake for over 3 days without sleep blacks out with his eyes open with oldest son in the car. (Age 2)

Time Number Two: Walking to the park on a very busy road frequented by semi trucks going 60 MPH I look away for a split second to run through a sprinkler that is spraying water onto the sidewalk while oldest son runs into the road to avoid getting wet. At the moment there were no cars or trucks going by for the first time in the year we lived there. (Age 5)

Time Number Three: Cousin pushes oldest son into a deep canal for fun and oldest son sinks. He felt something push him up far enough to grab a branch and pull himself out. No, he couldn't swim. In fact, he wouldn't even get his big toe wet at the swimming lessons I signed him up for the summer before. (Age 5)

Time Number Four: Falls out of the "bucket" of a back hoe as it is moving forward. The driver of the back hoe said that he felt something push his leg down with a good amount of force and was able to drop the bucket and stop the back hoe just inches from oldest sons head. (Age 8)

4 in 6 people reading this will have at least 4 of their own near death stories and they will know at least 6 men who show no signs of growing into the level of maturity it takes to pass gas without the applause of the other men in the room.