Everything Looks Better in the Dark

When I came to Phoenix to "find a house" I stayed at my friend's house.  The dark rooms were a mystery to me.  Believe it or not, they only had a light on in the room they were actually using and even then the light may or may not come on.  I just didn't get it.

I am a light person.  I grew up in Alaska ("OOOOH!  Neat!") and we used lights there like nobody's business.  In Utah I used our electricity to keep myself from going insane in the winters there...after the first 2 winters of course.  I remember thinking those first two winters away from Alaska...."Wimps!!!  This isn't winter!  This is NOTHING!!!!"  I ate those thoughts later.  They were delicious.

Then I moved to Phoenix.  Phoenix has taught me much.  Things like that metal on the outside of your car can actually cause 3rd degree burns and the 'cold' label on that faucet fixture doesn't really mean 'cold', it means hot. The 'hot' side means really freaking hot.

I have also learned the value of shade, a good towing service, and ceiling fans.  I am pretty sure that the poor saps that God feels most sorry for who are sent to Hell will be provided with ceiling fans.

And when the sun goes down rocks and dirt are actually prettier.  They are picture worthy.  The sky is more than picture worthy at sunset.  It is my goal to get some shots and share them with you.  There is always an upside.

The upside to dark rooms is this:  you can't see how badly you need to vacuum again, your electric bill hovers around 500 for the month instead of a million, and the heat comin' off those bulbs isn't adding to your overall sweat count.  And there is heat coming off those bulbs my friends.  Oh, there is heat.

Marlin

"Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?"
"No I don't wanna know."
"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim."


Everyone wants to be Dory.  Well, maybe not everyone...but I am sure we all watched Finding Nemo and found that being Marlin was not as fun as being Dory.  Dory is happy.  She doesn't worry or fight.  She floats.  And swims.  I am pretty sure she doesn't struggle along against the current making her own way through fish life.  If she were human she would be the one riding the waves, smiling and looking out to the rest of us flailing around in the water, concerned for us..but content and at peace.  She would even shout out encouragement..."Hey...Misty!  Come float with me!  You don't have to kick so hard...just relax....."

"Now it's my turn. I'm thinking of something dark and mysterious. It's a fish we don't know. If we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones."
"What is it with men and asking for directions?"
"I don't want to play the gender card right now. You want to play a card, let's play the "let's not die" card."

Everyone is not Dory.  We can't all be Marlin either, but I am here to tell you that Pixar actually called me up and asked if they could base a character on me.  I said sure and Voila!  Marlin.

"Hey, you're doing pretty well for a first-timer."
"Well, you can't hold on to them forever, can you?"
"You know I had a tough time when my oldest went out to the drop off."
"They've just got to grow up som - THE DROP OFF? THEY'RE GOING TO THE DROP OFF? WHAT ARE YOU, INSANE? WHY DON'T WE FRY THEM UP NOW AND SERVE THEM WITH CHIPS?"
"Hey Marty, calm down."
"Don't tell me to be calm, pony boy."
"Pony boy?"
"You know for a clownfish, he really isn't that funny."
"Pity."

So, I have this place I am going to.  I know I want to go and I have already started toward it.  There is this river you see..that is there just for me.  The water in the river is God's love.  This is where I might lose some of you.  But no matter, it is my story.  The bummer of it is, the riverbed isn't all smooth and sandy.  There are rocks under there.  Some of them are big.  It also curves a alot.  There are some waterfalls too....which are so pretty...except when you are going over one....they aren't that pretty from on top.  The thing is this: Marlin isn't very good at letting the river take him along.  He has his own plans.  He knows which way the river should be turning.  He knows he is supposed to end up North and it is a real problem when the river is headed South.  He is pretty sure that if he swims hard enough he can beat the water and get to where he is supposed to be.  Besides, isn't swimming hard the right thing to do anyway?

"Hey, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? While they're busy doing their little impressions, I'm miles from home with a fish who can't even remember her name."
"Boy, I bet that's frustrating."
"Meanwhile, my son is missing."
"Your son Chico?"
"Nemo."
"Right. Got it."
"But it doesn't matter, because no one in this entire ocean is going to help me."
"Well, I'm helping you."

And there it is.  The water is full of friends.  Because wouldn't God's love be full of those?  Friends and family.  Love.  The greatest thing about it all is that we are all on the same river.  We may not be on the same stretch of river at the exact same time....one of us may be going over a huge drop off and another is rounding a big bend....but we are there...on the same river going in the same direction.  Dory is there.  So is Marlin.  And everyone in between.  I find comfort in that.  I am looking to those who know more about that river than I do.  The ones who have learned to float.  And swim with the current.  They are going faster anyway.


"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Come on, Squishy Come on, little Squishy."

Come on little Squishy, let's float.

Our Move

My first photo essay. I am choosing this as my opening photo. I even set this picture as my desktop background to remind myself that even in the midst of complete ugly there is, quite possibly....something beautiful.

 

My July began this way.

 

 It rolled along into things like this.

 

Making a detour to this place.

 

Full of things like this.

 

Kissing things like this.

 

   And this.

 

 And this.

 

Then we got here.  Here is where I am. This is what I so unwittingly moved into. Don't ask me how I did not see this.  I could not tell you how.

 

Or this. 

 

Or this.

 

How about those holiday colors?  That is my family room. At least I won't have to decorate this year.

 

There is always outside.  I didn't have the heart to take pictures of the rest of the yard or the pile that went to the dump.  We carried and piled and gathered for days in the sun.

 

There are plenty of these inside though....

 

And not just in the doors and walls either.

 

Again, don't ask.

 

This is the thing that has kept us happy, crazy, frustrated, and puzzled.  The color of this thing goes from blue to green to blue again in a matter of hours.  We don't know what we are doing. Neither does the pool guy I am finding out.

 

And so it is.  We are here.  Not there. Or there. We are here in this place and my heart aches and my head aches. But I have this and five others and I love them all. 

 

And so I end here.  There is something here.  I can find it. Or it can find me.  There is so much more to the story than a few pictures can tell.  It is not witty or clever or funny. It is life. Messy and hard and complicated. And full of holes.