Secret

I have a secret.  I know exactly where The Wild Things Are.  They are in our homes.  In our schools.  In our neighborhoods.  Wild things are generally unpredictable.  And sometimes they bite.  The darlings.

I get very nervous around them too.  Especially when I am driving near and around them.  My stomach crunches.  My forehead scrunches.  Everyday at 3pm when I pick my little wild things up from school there are hundreds of little wild things in big groups "walking" by my huge Suburban.  Cute little clusters of wildness go by just barely missing my bumper and could at any moment jump under my running vehicle that I am gripping with both hands and standing on the brakes of for fear of accidentally letting go.

You just never know.  It could happen.

The biting I am not too worried about...generally.  Except when my littlest wild thing buries his little head into my tummy...his little baby teeth are usually full of cloth then he comes back up.  I am always glad it isn't skin.  Whew, safe again.  The darling!

Since we are talking about my littlest piece of wild, I may as well mention the bath he took a couple of days ago.  As a mommy of six, I don't usually get a bath.  I get up at 5:00 am each day and wait for my mommy shower while baby is sleeping.  At noon.  I wear jammies and work out clothes for 7 hours prior to self-cleaning time.  Now you know when not to come visit me.

I decided to live life on the edge the other day and take a morning shower.  It was just me and munchkin at home and I took care to close and turn lights off in the "toilet room" and the laundry room and other such places to discourage munchkin from entering forbidden paths.  I have a shower with glass walls and so I knew I would be able to see munchkin for the duration of the cleaning time as long as that time was pretty dang short....because...well, because I was sure munchkin would hang around and stare with wide eyes at the sight.  Don't worry, I am sure he won't remember a whole lot before age two.  Let's hope not.

I jumped in and the race started.  Halfway through the race our little man decided that he too needed to get clean.  He didn't know that he had on the only set of good clean clothes of his size in the house and that mommy would really rather not do laundry...especially "emergency laundry"...which is of course the worst kind of laundry.  He also didn't know that the water will be cold unless you turn the faucet all the way to the left.  He does know how to climb into mommy's big tub and turn the cold water on.  He does know what the soap is for.  And he does know how to climb back out.  Now he knows what wet tile does when you step on it in wet socks.  The poor darling.

I, of course, got to take the world's fastest shower.

If anyone asks Where the Wild Things Are you can tell them that I know, along with mothers every where, standing together with linked arms wearing a lot of deodorant.