I will never shout, "NO!!!" to my children. I will never have bags of candy on hand for "emergencies". I will never have "emergencies". I will feed them a steady diet of Mozart and The Classics read aloud with the proper inflection and overall pizzazz. Finally, I will not, under any circumstance, plop them down in front of the T.V. In fact, I will go 10 steps further and not OWN a T.V.
10 years ago.
I will never shout, "HELL NO!!!!" to my children. I will never have bags of chocolate candy on hand because that just melts all over and then you have to clean it off the car seat and the hands and the clothes and most of it never actually comes off. I will never have emergencies involving an ambulance. I will stick to reading very short picture books. And finally, I will limit the Barney exposure to 1 hour a day and not a minute more on a small T.V.
5 years ago.
I will try not to shout ALL DAY long. I will have bags of whatever is necessary because I am tired of the screaming and I will do ANYTHING to make it stop, including but not limited to, large ice cream cones eaten in the car, cell phones used as a teething ring, and bags and bags of melted, gooey chocolate. I will try to keep my children alive. I will read them books some time in the future. And finally, I wish our fifth would watch Barney on our 19 inch TV, but he won't because his older brothers and sisters make fun of Barney so he only wants to watch Spiderman and Batman...the PG13 versions..not the cartoons.
The Present.
I will shout if I want to, these kids are driving me insane! I will not take my children anywhere so bags of "whatever is necessary" isn't necessary any longer. The children are responsible for keeping themselves alive. The children are responsible for reading their own dang books and I would love to read one now and then as well.....sigh. And finally, as I sit in front of the T.V. with my last child watching Sid and Super Why and yes, even Barney, I find myself mindlessly answering the big and important questions of our day as they blare out of our 50-inch big-screen, flat-panel, plasma TV. "What's the super letter kids!?" I then shout with enthusiasm:
"Y!!!!!!!????????"
6 comments:
Yep! Exactly! My sister was always telling our Mom that she was going to have Mom's "Perfect Grandchildren". I would always ask... "Why do you set yourself up for failure like that?" I knew better than to say, "I will never." or "My kids will never." Yeah, right! You do what you can and try to survive. And looking back, you wish you had done some things different, but at the time it was all you could do!
All I can say is Hang in there! and do the best you can each day.
You nailed it. Thanks for the hilarious reminder of my life today! Love ya!
Perfect! I feel the same way.
LOL! Once again this is PERFECT! Hell Yes, you nailed it!
You need to write a column for a mommy magazine. You have a great way of saying what we all live through in such a humorous way! I LOVE IT!!!
OH MISTY, LOL!!! You just wrote the story of my life and I'm only on the 10th year of children! LOVED IT!
YES, that last one is my favorite, and I think I've been through them all! Thanks for the laughs and insight today!
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