Number One: Try and remember that the other women you see really are in a "my boobs are bigger than your boobs" competition and you know darn well you don't want to spend that kind of money on something that makes you look like you are freaking blind because you would have to be in order to think that a size double Z cup actually looked GOOD.Number Two: Also try and remember that those women in that competition as noted above are trying to make up for the fact that they are perfectly hip-less which if you will remember is a BAD thing because hips are GOOD. Just keep saying that over and over till you believe it.
Number Three: And please keep in mind that these women probably build their entire lives around their fitness program and their GIGANTIC boobs. You would have to, they are just that big.
And finally Lesson Number Four: The real reason for this post. I didn't really sit down to write about how INSANELY huge these women are and how many there are and how INSANE it all is. I sat down to tell you that if you need to go potty after a work out you should not use a paper toilet liner. If you do it anyway, even after this warning, you will only have yourself to blame as you spend the following 15 minutes picking off tiny wet pieces of tissue off your butt and legs and the floor and everything else within a 1 mile radius. For crying out loud, why don't they let you know that your bottom is covered in sweat and that thin paper stuff is going to melt right on and NOT come off for ANYTHING?? Somebody just shoot me. (After the boob job of course.)
Not.
4 comments:
Oh Misty! I love ya. Thanks for the laugh today. I guess that is one that you won't do twice! I think the boobs in AZ just look bigger because they aren't hidden behind over sized t-shirts at the gym like they are in UT.
Love the post! Every time I went to the gym I wondered how many people were there to work out and how many were there to check out the other people.
LOL! OH my GOSH Misty! I am spitting granola bar all over my computer screen. Note to self, don't eat while reading Misty's blog.
I will remember the toilet seat cover stuff next time my butt is sweaty and as for the boobs.......honey, EVERYONE looks huge next to me! :D
love #2 (reminding myself of #2..) how do these women make it by the mirror (#2) and home in the car (#2). Well, they use the bathroom at home (#2) for 1/2 the day, (#2) then go to the gym the other (#2) half the day, while the daycare (#2) raises theird kids (#2) and their husbands (#2) come home to a perfect (#2) wife right? Thanks for the laugh..I'm the poster child for ...ype..you guessed it #2.
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