Life is a Game

When everyone is a winner, nobody wins. I will argue that point to the death. "But somebody might feeeeeel bad!" Life is tough all over. There are winners and there are losers.

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

I used to believe that I was not competitive. I would say it all the time as looked at my competitor with great maturity and poise. Until I won. Or lost. All of the sudden I would find myself throwing my hands in the air slappin' everyone high fives in the air and yelling, "Uh huh, Uh huh, I won, I won!!" (You have to sing that last bit.) Or telling my future father in law, who everyone else was calling President Cox with a certain amount of respect, that he should go back to polite school right as I am throwing down my cards and stalking out of the room completely out of control. Competitive? You betcha.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I like to call this phenomena "closet competitive". The kind that likes to ask her date if he would like to play a game of HORSE very nonchalantly...as if she didn't care. No big deal, just a little game of HORSE. Doesn't matter who wins.....except of course when she kills her man over and over and over again with those cute little shots right in front of the basket. Oh, the euphoria.

Anybody can win -- unless there happens to be a second entry.

But what happens when we don't want a child to feel the deflated "I lost" feeling? You know the activity. It is the one where everyone gets an "award". The Best Use of Peanut Butter and Super Glue Award. The Most Creative Way to Stick Together Fruit Loops and Craft Sticks Award. All of the sudden the award isn't an award. It is a waste of an 8 1/2 X 11. And colored ink.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

How about those poor saps that spent the day cutting every vegetable Costco had to offer only to be handed the "Chunkiest" Award along side the schmuck who just cracked open the Bush's Homestyle Chili No Beans can and plopped into a pot, who by the way got the "Best No Bean" Award.

'If you are first you are first. If you are second you are nothing.'

Bah. Double bah. Next year the poor sap brings corn bread. Box kind.

If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and brush her off and say, "Sorry, Mom," but nobody beats me.

Well, there were 4 responses to my last post. Do the math with me. One winner and how many losers? Three. Very good. Now class, how will those poor, sad, beaten down losers ever survive? I will tell you and then we can all go tell our children. The losers will lose with grace. The winner will hopefully learn to win with self-composure, dignity....and maybe even just a touch of tact. That is what I want to teach my kids. "Kids, you will win and you will lose. Things will go your way and things won't. The universe will work with you and against you. Get used to it."

Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts.' probably lost.

After much deliberation I am declaring the winner. Points were given for proper spiritual connection and entertainment value. Just when America is on the edge of its' collective seat I will reveal the person who made me laugh my face off.

As long as I've got a chance to beat you I'm going to take it.

Paul. The one and only. The one who compliments me best. The winner. The guy who doesn't want flowers, dipped apples, or salad. The dark horse claims his prize. Menu item #4. I would let you guess the selected prize but then I would have to admit to it...and that is just something I am not willing to do.

Some guys are admired for coming to play, as the saying goes. I prefer those who come to kill.

Thanks for playing ya'll. :)